Realizations
by Debi C1
Summary: Is Sam beginning to realize just how much she has changed in the last few years? And why is everyone talking about Daniel anyway?


Sam Carter entered her office carrying her briefcase and a half full cup of coffee. She flipped on the light and sat her burdens down on her desk. She looked around the empty space and noticed that it was looking rather dingy and dusty, as if no one had been there in some time. Well, it had been an exciting year. No time for the dust babies.

She shook herself and opened the carrying case and began to unload her paperwork and put it in its place where she could refer to it easily. Her desk looked kind of empty for some reason. She went over to the coffee maker on the side table and measured out the grounds in preparation for making a pot. She started to count out four teaspoons full, but then cut them back to two. She wasn't expecting anyone to come by. In fact, she realized that no one HAD come by in quite a while. She could almost say weeks. In fact, her last visitor to her office had been Jonas, when he'd come back to them from Kelowna, or rather, Langara, for help with the Naquadria problem.

Of course, she and her teammates had all been very busy in the last few months. Daniel's de-ascension a year ago, their search for the lost city, the Kelownan/Langarian problem, Felgar's situation with the Stargate, their contact with and Teal'c's subsequent interest in the female Jaffa, Ishta, the problems with the Tok'ra and the rebellious Jaffa at the Alpha Site, Janet's death . . . oh, God . . . Janet's death. Yes, it had been a hard, exciting, busy, tragic year. They had all been pulled in separate directions. It was no wonder the team had been split asunder.

Of course, there had been the bright spots of Daniel's return to them, her meeting Pete, and not to forget, rescuing Daniel's Sarah. She had thought that Daniel would take some time off and renew his relationship with his old girlfriend but he had not done so. Sam had been surprised by his choosing to remain in Colorado instead of escorting her back to England. Instead, he had stayed close, spending a lot of time remembering his past and reconnecting with his physical life. She'd noticed that he and Jack were hanging out together again. That was good; that was as it should be. After a few minutes of waiting for the coffee maker to start making coffee, she realized that the machine had given up any semblance of a life. In fact, it was stone cold dead. Oh, well, off to the dining hall. Maybe they had some pastries left from the breakfast rush.

As she entered the Commissary, she could hear laughter coming from one of the large corner tables. Sam looked over to see Lieutenant Colonel Louis Ferretti holding court over a group of the new transfers that had just come in. Some of them she knew from her lecturing at the Air Force Academy and some were complete strangers. She knew Ferretti fairly well as one of the most senior members of the SGC as far as longevity. He'd been here with O'Neill and Daniel in the early days before there had even been a Stargate Command, one of the first men to actually go through the gate on the fateful trip to Abydos.

"So there we were, on an alien planet for Pete's sake with only this long haired kid to get us back home," Ferretti was waving his arms around. "Kowalski wanted to kill him, but the Colonel said no, he was our only hope to get back and besides, he was responsible for him."

Daniel was sitting at the table with them and he smiled shyly at the group. "I knew I'd never get paid. I'd lied to get to go and it had bitten me but good."

"The only biting I remember was that gorgeous daughter of the chieftain, Sha'uri." Ferretti laughed to the crowd. "And she wound up marrying him."

Daniel blushed to his hairline and glanced down at the table. "One of the best years of my life was spent with her and the Abydonians."

"They surely did break the mold with her, Daniel." Ferretti smiled, more gently this time and patted him on the shoulder.

"You're right, Lou. She was a very special person." The younger man nodded at his friend. He then slid back his chair. "Well, I've got work to do. Don't tell too many lies, Lou."

"At the SGC? We don't have to tell lies. Our real life adventures are hard enough to believe." Lou laughed, "Stay out of trouble, Daniel."

"I can only try."

"How did you get back?" One of the new people pressed the Lieutenant Colonel.

"Daniel figured out the writing at the Abydos temple, of course." Lou smiled and took up his story again. "Don't let his quietness fool you. That man is the smartest guy in the mountain. He's living proof of the old saying, 'Still waters run deep.'"

Samantha Carter was not hiding...she really wasn't. She'd just stopped to pick up something that had fallen from someone's grasp, a slip of trash paper lying on the floor. Then she had heard some voices and paused to listen to them as they filtered around the corner to her.

"Yes, laws-a-mercy, that man is fine! A big ole man like him, just all alone and lonely."

"Now, old woman, how do you know he's alone, much less lonely?"

""Well, child, he ain't from around here. Keeps himself separate, don't cha know. "The older sounding voice continued on."He's from Chulak."

"Where's that? I never heard of any place called Chulak."

"Don't know exactly, but he's from...out there."

"Out there where?"

"You know...out there...out there."

"Oh."

Carter had to smile at the reference.

"Well, what about the Colonel?"

"He's from Minnesota, and that Doctor Daniel...he's from..."

"Heaven?"

"Egypt." The older voice said firmly.

"Egypt? He doesn't look..."

"His momma and papa were Archaeologists like he is...he was born there."

"How do you know so much anyway?" The younger voice sounded querulous.

"Girl, I've been here since the git-go; hired back before there was an SGC. Even back then they had to eat and somebody had to cook for them." The voice paused with a chuckle. "Even before O'Neill and Hammond, that Doctor Langford and Captain Carter were here for coupla years but Carter she left and went back to Washington. Then Miss Catherine went out and found Daniel at some speech he was making and brought him back with her. He opened the Stargate and then the Colonel and him went through it to Abydos. Daniel stayed there and got married, but later his wife got kidnapped by one of the alien bastards and he come back with the Colonel."

"Did they ever find her?"

"Yeah, but she was dead, poor lamb." The voice clucked her sorrow. "We nearly lost him that time, but he decided to stay on after all, thank goodness." The voice said with firmness. "Without him, well, we woulda been gone a long time ago."

"Why? He's just a civilian."

"What? Are you crazy, girl?" the first voice said in an aggrieved tone. "He's saved us more times than you want to shake a stick at, him and the Colonel. Why he saved Teal'c just last year."

"But Major Carter . . . ."

"But Major Carter nuthin. Daniel's the one who went all the way to Russia to get their old DHD with Major Davis when Teal'c got himself stuck in the wormhole. All that girl could do was argue with that fella, MacKay, about why it happened and how long they had to rescue him. It was that smooth talking Daniel that convinced the Ruskies to give it up so they could rescue his friend. If it hadn't been for him, well, that fine young man would be nothing but wormhole trash. Yes, ma'am, that Daniel come through many a time for his friends and for the SGC. Just a civilian? Not hardly honey!" the voice lowered. "And when he was gone, we all was watching the Colonel too. I thought that man was gonna just dry up and blow away. He'd never eat nuthin' and you could tell he wasn't sleeping right. He was just plum pitiful." the voice paused, then the speakers moved away from her. "Yep, just plain pitiful."

She had to admit...they were right.

Sam had just finished a Newcomers Briefing that she'd had to give. She usually enjoyed meeting the new people that were processing into the SGC. They were certainly an eclectic group. There would be everyone from Civilian consultants on linguistics, archaeology, anthropology, and geology to hard core combat veterans from the Persian Gulf. Even the enlisted people were impressive with their skills and hidden talents. While they may not all have alphabets behind their names, their education had often come with experience and the school of hard knocks. Then of course, there were the new recruits right out of the Air Force Academy. There was not a dull moment or a dim bulb to be had in the bunch.

Sam closed her notes and shoved her books back into her brown leather briefcase as she prepared to leave the briefing room. She accidently knocked her pen to the floor behind the podium. As she bent to pick it up, she heard some people, obviously coming back down the aisle to the front seating area.

Two young women were talking as they traversed the space to the front chairs. "Are they there?" One of the girls asked.

"Yeah, they're right where I left them...I can't believe I nearly ran off without these notes."

"Well, you know what they say about geniuses, good for at one thing at a time." The other girl laughed gaily at her friend.

"Well, if that puts me in the same category as Doctor Jackson, I'll be happy." The first voice replied. "He's a bonafide genius of the highest caliber...not like Major Carter."

"Why? What do you mean? She seems very impressive to me." One of the women asked.

"Oh, she is...I mean, she's no slouch certainly...but he thinks rings around her." The other, younger voice enthused. "I was lucky enough to sit in on one of his briefings last month. He's absolutely amazing."

"What do you mean? I mean, I know that he's brilliant but..."

"Well, first of all, theoretical astrophysics is only so much mathematics." The second voice stated adamantly. "Any computer can crunch the numbers, but the capability to take the theory and just jump to the next proper conclusion is a kind of magic you only see a few times in your life."

"But, she's the one who got the Stargate to work."

"Ahhh, Nooo." The speaker sounded scandalized. "Oh, she computed the spatial drift sequencing after Doctor Jackson opened the gate and she did create the dialing program to ease the travel problems but she didn't open anything." The voice lowered, taking on a conspiratorial tone. "Major Carter, well she was a Captain back then, worked with a team of other scientists for more than two years and could never get the Stargate to even burp." There was a giggle. "Well, when Carter got transferred back to the Pentagon in walks the project head, Doctor Langford, with Doctor J. Then, hey presto, in two weeks he had it figured out and working."

"With Major Carter's software and dialing computer..." Sam's defender spoke up.

"Yep, a computer, some software and a leap of intuition and knowledge that came direct from one Doctor D. Jackson in a tenth of the time it had taken the other experts, including Carter, to fail with a resounding thud."

"Okay, okay," the second voice laughed. "You convinced me. He's the genius, she's the..."

"Hanger on." the other voice said firmly. "All she can do is work from his ideas."

"That doesn't sound fair to me...I mean..."

"Nope, not fair to me either. He does all the brain work and she gets all the credit." the voices were trailing off as the two unknown students left the hall.

Sam sat there a little longer, shocked by what she had heard. A hanger on? But, she'd been here before Daniel. She'd worked hard to open the gate but well...they just couldn't manage it. They didn't have all the information at hand. They hadn't had the training, and well, if she were being perfectly honest with herself...they hadn't had Daniel.

Deep in thought, she left the lecture room and rounded a corner. There was a small break room that was off the main corridor. She needed that coffee now, and badly.

As she entered the room there was a group of four SGCs civilian consultants seated around a small table. The white coated scientists each had a cup of coffee and a donut, obviously on their midmorning break. She could see Bill Lee was talking and gesticulating wildly with his hands.

"They were holding us in this old shack, when they weren't torturing us! Then, when they brought Daniel back and he told me that they'd turned the device on and we had to escape, I thought he'd gone crazy.

But he used his boot to break some boards on the back wall of the shack we were being held prisoner in and we ran into the jungle. I don't know how far we'd gone when my bad knee gave out and I couldn't run anymore. He shoved me back under some bushes and told me to hide and he'd lead them away. After awhile the guerillas ran by but they didn't see me. I thought he might have made it but then I heard the gunfire and I knew that they'd caught him. I thought he was dead for sure."

"So what happened?" One of the other scientists, Coombs, asked.

"Well, I stayed hidden hoping they wouldn't find me. Then, about thirty minutes later, I heard someone calling my name. When I look out at the path, there's Daniel, Colonel O'Neill, and this other guy, Burke. Daniel had been shot in the leg but O'Neill and Burke had found him just in time."

Nyan, Daniel's young alien research assistant, nodded knowingly.

"Colonel O'Neill would never leave any of his men behind. It's not his way."

"Especially Doctor Jackson." Felgar stated. At their looks, he blushed. "No, I mean, well, he's his teammate. He'd want to get him back safely."

"It would not matter." Nyan spoke up again. "Colonel O'Neill doesn't leave his people behind. He would not have left anyone."

Lee nodded. "That's right. O'Neill wouldn't, and neither would Daniel. But Daniel was wounded saving me, protecting me, after everything that they'd done to him and after what I'd done...giving them the information."

The young man nodded. "That's Daniel. He's very brave. When he was held a prisoner on my home planet by the Bedrosian military forces, they tortured him, but he would not give away information on his friend Teal'c or on the Stargate."

Lee looked uncomfortable. Felgar took another sip of coffee, and bit into his donut. "You have to be a hero to be on SG1. Look at Major Carter."

Lee frowned at him. "When was she tortured?"

"Well," Felgar started then stopped. "Uh, I don't know. She was captured and held a prisoner..."

"With the rest of SG1 on the Goa'uld ship. I know, I was there too." Doctor Coombs picking up on what was obviously a familiar refrain while the others laughed, much to Felgar's embarrassment. "But she wasn't tortured." He added.

"She went with me to P5S-117 to try to correct the Avenger virus." Felgar defended her.

"Oh, so she was tortured by you?" Coombs asked with a grin.

Felgar looked indignant. "No, she helped me to correct the programming

and fix the Stargate system."

"That you caused in the first place." Lee commented.

"But the Jaffa were attacking us."

"And Colonel O'Neill had to rescue you." Coombs supplied. "While Doctor Jackson was on P3L-997 rescuing the whole civilization."

"Fine! Just believe what you want too." Felgar answered in an offended tone as he got up from the table. "I have work to do."

"Yeah, me too." Lee commented at he finished his coffee. "But Daniel Jackson is a real hero. Without him, the guerillas would still have the Telchak device and I would be dead."

Nyan nodded his agreement. "I am honored to work with him and to consider him my friend. Without him, I would still be on Bedrosia and more than likely in prison for discovering the truth about my world's history and civilization."

Sam decided she didn't want any coffee after all.

Carter approached O'Neill's office. She could see that gray metal door was open a crack, a sure sign he was in. She walked up to it, tapped quickly on it and then pushed it open to his call. Only after she had entered the room, did Sam realize that he wasn't alone. Teal'c was seated in the chair across the desk from the Colonel.

"Sorry, Sir. I didn't realize..."

"That's okay, Carter." Her CO replied affably. "We were just sitting here trying to figure something out."

"What's that, Sir?"

Jack shifted in his chair, uncomfortable behind the desk. "Well, I was reviewing these reports from Latona...you remember that fiasco?"

She nodded, "The one with the Sentinel device?"

Jack nodded absently and indicated a chair. Teal'c stood to leave.

"I was not there, O'Neill. I was outside of the cave during this period. If you will allow me, I have duties to attend. With your permission..."

He glanced up at his friend. "Sure, Teal'c. Thanks for your help on these other reports. I appreciate it."

The big man nodded at his two teammates and left the room.

After Teal's had gone and closed the door behind himself, O'Neill looked at his 2IC. "Take a seat, Carter. I'd like to ask you some questions about the report you had filed for our visit to the planet," he glanced at the paper that lay in front of him, "Latona."

Sam sat up stiffly in the indicated chair, "Certainly, Sir. What is your question?"

"Carter, for crying out loud." Jack looked up at her, leveling his brown eyes at her blue. "I'm just trying to clear something up. You're not in trouble, ya know."

She nodded, still nervous. It was a little silly, she knew. It had been a long time since she'd felt the least little bit intimidated by the Colonel, but now for some reason she felt like a school girl in the principal's office. "Yes, sir."

He looked at her with a suspicious expression, and then shook his head.

"So, tell me about...uh,..."

"P2A-018." She prompted.

"Uh, yeah, Latona. I know I was there but I was with that little guy, Marvin."

"Marul."

"Yeah, him. He kept telling me how the Sentinel would protect them; make the bad aliens go away...then when it didn't...well, he was pretty clueless."

She had to nod, "I can imagine, Sir. Grieves had inadvertently fouled up to the planet's defense system when he killed the caretaker."

"Yeah, but you got it figured out in time to prevent the Gould overrunning the planet." O'Neill nodded. "That's what I want to ask you about." She looked at him curiously. "When the Jaffa had me and Grogan there in the cave with you, well, honestly I wasn't paying a lot of attention to what you'd been doing."

"Oh?" She frowned and nodded at him. She remembered the Colonel and the young Sergeant being held hostage and tortured while the Jaffa tried to get them to drop the protective force field. "I understand the problem you were having, Sir."

He nodded. "Well, in your reports, both you and Daniel referred to the cave where the Sentinel device was located but neither of you actually say what happened." Jack looked down at the papers in front of him. "You say in your report that 'we gained access to the device and Grieves tried to repair the machinery'."

"Yes, Sir. While Teal'c and I held the Jaffa off outside the cave, Daniel went in to try and assist Grieves and Kershaw with getting through the force field then ultimately trying to repair the device.

He nodded and then looked down at another paper. "Daniel said, and I quote, 'after gaining access to the device, Grieves sacrificed himself to reestablish the proper link with the machine.' "He looked up at her."Carter, how the hell did you get to the damned thing?"

"Well..." she hesitated for a moment recalling the circumstances.

"We got into the cavern that housed the device, but there was a force field in place to protect it from tampering. It took a little while for them to gain access."

"It didn't keep the NID agents from getting to it." O'Neill groused.

She shook her head. "No, they got to it just fine but it had taken them forty-eight hours."

"O'Neill looked up at her, with a surprised expression. "Forty-eight hours? So, how did you get past it so fast?"

"Well, that's when Daniel came in and began to work on the pattern of sounds that it was emitting. He claimed that there was a tonal sequence that had to be met and it had to do with the color sequence of the crystals..."

"Wait. Wait. He claimed there was, or there was?"

"Well, there must have been one because after less than an hour, he'd broken the code and opened the force field so that Grieves could get to the device."

He looked at her curiously. "So, it was Daniel that got past the force field?"

Sam felt uncomfortable and unexplainably guilty. "Yes Sir. Daniel did it."

"Okay, then Grieves and Kershaw fixed the Sentinel device?"

"Well, they were working on it for a while but they weren't having any luck. Then Daniel saw some writing on the wall that he said looked familiar, like something he'd seen on another planet."

"Daniel read the writing on the wall?"

"Well, no. He couldn't read it exactly, but he said that he recognized some of the symbols and that those symbols meant something to do with a human interaction...two as one. Then Kershaw told us that Grieves had killed the caretaker of the Sentinel and Daniel suggested that the machine needed human interaction to fulfill its programming and protect the planet."

"So, when the Gould brought us in, that's when Grieves decided to grab hold of it and uh," O'Neill waved his hands in a rolling manner. "interact with it?"

"Yes, Sir. That's how he knew what to do to activate it." She looked up at the Colonel. "Daniel told him. If Daniel hadn't been able to figure out the tonal sequence to the force field, we couldn't have reached the device in time and if he hadn't recognized the symbols and been able to translate them, Grieves wouldn't have known what to do to activate it."

Jack looked at her for a moment then dropped his eyes back to the paperwork on his desk shaking his head and chuckling. "Leave it to Daniel."

She took a deep breath and decided to ask him her question. "Sir?"

Jack looked up at her eyes still dancing in amusement. "Yeah, Carter?"

"Sir," Sam started. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Carter, what is it?"

"Sir," She flushed a little bit from the embarrassing question. "Am I...self-centered?"

O'Neill looked at her oddly, then lay the papers down in front of himself. "Well, do you want the politically correct answer or honesty?"

"Honesty, Sir." She replied, lifting her chin.

He took a deep breath and blew it out. "Honestly, yeah, you are...

but it's understandable." He qualified. "I figure that you've always been the brightest kid in your class. I know Jacob is proud of you and expected a lot out of you both scholastically and professionally."

He looked at her and she nodded. "So, with all the emphasis on you doing the best and working the hardest it's only natural that you'd be..."

"Self-centered and egotistical."

"I'd say...self aware." He looked at her curiously. "What brought this on?"

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Well, just lately, I've been overhearing some things being said about me and Daniel."

Jack leaned back in his chair. "You and Daniel?" He smiled at her.

"Little pitchers, Carter."

Sam looked at him in confusion. "I beg your pardon?"

"Little pitchers got big ears." He shook his head. "Its an old saying my Grandmother used to use whenever I heard anything that I wasn't meant to, and I got my feelings hurt. She'd remark that little pitchers had big ears." He smiled at her. "And no, I don't know where it comes from."

"You can always ask Daniel." She said, absentmindedly, then flushed in embarrassment.

"Yeeeaaah, I suppose I could." He looked at her suspiciously. "Where did that come from?"

"You know, I don't really...I have no idea." Sam looked at him nonplused.

O'Neill leaned forward on his elbows, looking at her quizzically.

"Are you mad at Daniel for some reason, Carter?"

"No, I mean, at least I don't think so. It's just, everywhere I go today, and there are people who are talking about Daniel."

O'Neill looked at her oddly. "And this is a bad thing why?"

"It's not really, I mean..."

"And what are they saying about him?"

"How smart that he is."

"He's very smart." Jack nodded. "I'm living proof of how smart he is. He's been directly responsible for saving my life, and yours I might add, not to mention the whole damn world more times than I even want to think about." He shook his head. "I remember when you two first met on Abydos. When at the Cartouche Room, you said that the gate could only go to one place. That you'd tried hundreds of permutations."

She nodded the memory fresh as if it were yesterday. "Yes, Sir. We had, but then he said..."

"That the planets must change, drift apart..." O'Neill finished for her.

She smiled, remembering her first attempt at convincing Daniel of anything. "He'd figured out that the gate wouldn't work for us because of interstellar drift...and he did it with no idea of what it was even called."

O'Neill smiled at her. "That's Daniel for you. He doesn't think in straight lines, Carter. He never has and he never will. His mind just kinda hops around from place to place...like a...a damned bullfrog... with never two jumps in a straight line."

Carter had to nod. "Thinking outside the box, like the time we were on the Goa'uld asteroid and you and Teal'c had gone into the core to plant the bomb that would divert it from Earth." At his puzzled expression, she continued. "When the ship was hit by debris and the hull was damaged."

Jack nodded, remembering. It had certainly given him some bad moments of believing his two team members and friends were dead until he had discovered them safe and sound locked in the ships life-pods. "Yeah...you two were in the capsule thingys." He looked at her in realization. "So, that was..."

"Daniel's idea, yes Sir." Sam nodded. "I was busy trying to find the leaks in the hull when he suddenly grabbed me and shoved me into a pod. I was mad at him then until I realized what he was doing." She shook her head. "He saved my life, and I didn't even thank him."

Jack raised his eyebrows at her. "He would have been surprised if you had. You know he doesn't expect things like that."

She sighed and nodded. That was certainly true, though it was kind of fun to make her friend turn all pink and embarrassed occasionally, not that she'd done it much lately.

O'Neill shuffled the papers on his desk and put them aside. "You know why I wanted this information, Carter?"

"No, Sir, I don't." She looked at her CO curiously.

"I'm filling out the initial paperwork for the Medal of Freedom for Daniel and I need to have all the facts straight. I've been doing some legwork talking to people, so that's probably what started all the talk." O'Neill looked at her. "I think he deserves at least this much. Hell, I know he deserves a lot more than a little medal hanging on a ribbon, but it's the best I can do. What do you think?"

"Sir, I think it's long overdue." She replied honestly.

"So, still think you're self-centered Carter." He quirked an eyebrow at her.

She blushed and looked up at him. "Yes, but...I think I can get over it."

Jack smiled at her. "I think you already have." He pushed his chair back and stood up. "Come on, it's almost lunch time. Let's go get our two civilians and grab a bite to eat. I need pie."

And she followed her leader out the door.

~fin~

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